Friday, October 31, 2008

Scary enough yet? Happy Halloween - Spooky Month for your RSP's and Stocks?


On the cusp of what has been quoted as the worst months for stocks in 21 years, here are some humor to brighten up an otherwise beaten day for equities.



1. Q: What is the one thing Wall St and the Olympics have in common?
A: Synchronised diving.

2. I went to buy a toaster and it came with a bank.

3. Overheard in a City bar: ‘This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.’

4. What’s the capital of Iceland?
About $3.50.

5. Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: A pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

6. A British “banker” explains the subprime credit crisis in this brilliant YouTube video.

7. Leave it to a comic strip to explain a bank bailout.

8. Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can still feed a family of four.

9. Q: What’s the definition of optimism?
A: An investment banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday night.

10. “I tried to make a withdrawal from an ATM and the machine said‘Insufficient Funds’. I wasn’t sure if it meant for me or the bank.”

11. “I lent my friend $20 last week and according to the market I qualify as the country’s 4th largest lender.”

12. Broker to Client: “I’ve got good news - you’ll be paying 40% less in fees for the foreseeable future!”

13. I wrote a check for $100 to my friend but he never got it; the check was good, the bank bounced.

14. The crisis is so bad Bank Atm’s now have slot machines.

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